Tired of Bad Dates? Take a look at this Date From Hell Story!


I was on Match.com for a couple of months and a 52 year-old woman emailed me (I'm 50). Was a standard dream come true email and profile, and yes, I unknowingly took the bait.

A few more emails, and then we started talking on the phone for hours. I had to go out of town for a week, so we just kept talking long distance. During conversation, she mentioned her previous house (mansion) she lived in, but had to move because the electric bill was too high. Also, the business she started, owned, ran, and that she made a lot of money - all cash. She said she was selling it and was going to start a new one in the US Virgin Islands. She said it was on Facebook, so I looked it up and thought how neat.

Her last name was listed along with her high school, so I thought what the heck, let me check out her high school on Classmates.com. Sure enough, she was there, but I noticed an oddity. She was listed as graduating with the class of 1971. Strange, that would make her 57 instead of 52 - born in 1953 versus 1958. Okay, maybe a typo. So I went into Spock mode and queried county public records, fictitious business name databases, etc. Local county records for a divorce showed her birth year as 1953. Business name search showed her and another guy as owners, but with a different last name, and registered in another county. More record searching showed she had been married to the business co-owner for several years, then divorced. Records showed that she had been evicted from her "mansion", and that it was a condo she was merely renting. She was also constantly on Plenty Of Fish while we were "phone dating", but I could live with that (always maintain a stealth account on all online dating services).

So, with red flags all over the place and armed with all this information, I would steer our conversations to give her opportunities to come clean. But she never did. And interestingly, any time we got close to the truth, her normally chatty demeanor would slow and it was obvious she was being very careful with her wording and delivery. But the entire time, she seemed very interested in me. She'd call and call, text and text, and even expressed worry when I didn't respond "in time". After returning from out of town, we finally set a time to meet. At that point though, I was totally disinterested, and actually a little concerned for my safety. We met at a local restaurant. First impression was, yes, she looks like her photos. But I noticed that just as in her photos, she had about every part of her body covered, except for her face and hair. So here we go. I was pretty sure she wasn't a true blonde as I'd never seen a blonde's roots that dark. Plus, the blonde parts of her hair had that characteristic yellowish tint from bottle-blonde chemicals. Next, her face had few wrinkles, but the ones she had were deep. Either she was a miracle worker with make-up, or she'd had a lift. Where I could gauge her body tone through all her clothes, it looked flabby. The bottom 4-5 inches of her butt looked good, but the top end went straight up with strange bulges on either side of her lower back. Here and there I got a glimpse that she was actually stocky, not "athletic" as her Match profile stated. She had a semi-hoarse laugh that heavier folks usually have, like it comes from the whole diaphragm. Needless to say, it was both uncomfortable and interesting sitting with her. I made sure and covered my credit card number when paying the bill, as well as ensuring I had everything else buttoned down or locked away.

Spent about 2 1/2 hours talking. I talked as if I knew nothing, but also as I would to anyone else. For me, our "in person" time was her final opportunity for the truth. But it didn't happen. We left, I told her to drive safe, I went home. Texted her and told her I enjoyed our time together, which I did, but not in a positive way. I also noticed that she had logged into POF within minutes of her getting home. Next morning I texted her a couple of times with a "how are you..." and "what'd you think of our date...". Then prepared my exit letter and texted her I was emailing her. I used Match's email to tell her I had been real interested and hopeful, but that I had discovered information which was deal-breaker material. I could have gone vindictive, but I didn't go into what I knew, just that I knew quite a bit. I'm so nice. I congratulated her on her numerology trick. That is, morphing the 3 into an 8 in her birth year (1953 > 1958), clever girl. I also mentioned her hypocritical Match profile declaration that she was "very honest" and believed in "open communication". Never heard from her again.

So in the end, I learned that she had been married at least 3 times versus the 2 she claimed. She was 57 not 52. She didn't own her business, but shared it, and to what degree I didn't find out. She had been evicted from her last residence (condo) and she hadn't owned it, just rented it. All in all, I feel lucky I escaped with my wallet in hand and the shirt on my back.

This date from hell story was submitted by:  David in Florida

Dr. Gooddate's response:

David David David! Where do I begin. I think it's best that I keep this dating disaster short and sweet. If it looks like a snake, acts like a snake and crawls like a snake - IT'S A SNAKE! You have all the warning signs you needed. While I admire your thoroughness and your desire to "check up" on this woman (always smart when there's doubt), you had all the warning signs you needed to tell you that this was not the person you wanted for a relationship. It's sad but too often true that many people who are dating on the internet just don't show their true colors from the get go. But oftentimes, it's OK depending on the level of secrecy. In this case, nothing matched up from the onset. Only thing I would have done differently is: (1) I would never have gone on the date. And (2) I wouldn't have wasted my time writing to her to simply "prove" how "bad" she is and how "right" you were. You were better off letting it go and moving onto the next connection that could prove to be a rewarding one!

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