Tired of Bad Dates? Take a look at this Date From Hell Story!
LONG DISTANCE FIRST DATE FIASCO
My date from hell flew to my home state without a nickel in his pocket. He said since I invited him, it was up to me to foot the bill. I DID NOT *invite* him, I told him it would be cool if he came to visit when he asked me about the possibility. Nothing more. The guy told me a week later he was going to "be in my area" and asked me if I could pick him up from the airport. I said sure.
To be nice I sent him a list of hotels around the airport, downtown and in my area (didn't know what his preference would be). I'd picked him up from the airport and we had dinner at a restaurant he'd "heard so much about and wanted to check out." After dinner the check came. He didn't reach for it... ok. I asked him if he'd like to go dutch. That's when he said the crap about me inviting him and it was up to me to cover his stay. Yep, I found out he didn't bring ANY money. I said "screw this." I ponied up and paid for dinner. We headed to the car and I told him I'd drop him at his hotel. No dice. He never booked one! He was under the impression he'd be staying with me. Ex-squeeze me? Don't know ya, not gonna stay in my space. No Way. I turned right around and took him back to the airport. When we arrived he asked "What? are we going somewhere? Did you plan something?" I asked him to get out of my car and said "I'm sorry, you have the wrong woman, I'm not your sugar mama. Go home." He just stood there stunned as I drove away.
I got a nasty-gram from him a couple of days later going on and on about me being a tease and how I was obligated to give him a place to stay, blah, blah, blah. His profile on the site I met him on is now deleted. Wonder how many other women he's pulled this on. No more Internet dating. Never, ever, ever, eeeeeeever again.
This date from hell story was submitted by: Archel
Dr. Gooddate's response:
Thank you for sharing your experience Archel. It's one thing to be a player or a serial dater, but it's another to be so blatantly inconsiderate like this guy. While I feel your pain, the problem here is twofold. Remember the rule about long distance relationships. An established relationship could survive short term, but a new one where two people have never met? Forget it. The odds of success are very slim and my personal recommendation is to go with the odds and avoid such relationships. However, I am happy to see that you employed the rule of "The guy does the traveling for date #1".
I like your spunk and energy. The only thing I would have changed is when he said he wasn't paying for dinner. The best move at this point, when he refused to go dutch was to get up and leave. If you didn't want to cause a scene, you could have excused yourself to the ladies room and just left the restaurant. But if it was me, or some of the femaie "power daters" I have interviewed, they would have left him there. However, the fact that you didn't leave him there is OK. This guy is obviously following the Leykis 101 rules of dating, where he does little, gives little, and tries to get everything in return - with a final goal of sex. If you aren't familiar with these rules, then Google them and you'll see. In this case, he flew to you for two things: A free meal and a sexual romp. I say this because he called you a "tease". If he didn't have sex in mind, then the word "tease" would not have come up at all. All in all, you did the right thing. You lost the price of a meal, but with a selfish, arrogant a**hole like this guy, it could have been worse.
In a nutshell, he didn't get what he came for, and in this case, that's good. For anyone reading this who insists on trying to meet someone long distance: If he is flying to meet you, get the rules straight before the date. Make sure he's got a hotel booked and paid for and his plans are all set in stone. A gentleman who is serious about meeting his match will handle this wisely and will not fly by the seat of his pants while visiting a far-off place to meet someone. Unprepared, Unaccountable and Inconsiderate: 3 qualities this bozo possesses and 3 qualities you never want in a man.
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