Tired of Bad Dates? Take a look at this Date From Hell Story!


After a terrible breakup with a boyfriend of 2 years, I decided to "test the waters" and joined an online dating site. To my surprise, I met a seemingly wonderful man who, after talking for a couple months, I realized I had a lot in common with. And, he was attractive. The only downside was that he was quite a few years older than I. However, because he was seemingly such a good person, I overlooked it and decided to meet up with him.

He lived 10 hours away from me, so we both decided on him driving here and staying in a hotel for the weekend. We had planned on doing a lot of fun activities such as fine dining, shows, and hiking. As soon as he arrived, we were both so excited and anxious to meet one another that I drove to his hotel right away.

As soon as I arrived at his hotel, he obviously found me to be attractive (something I was worried about, as sometimes people look a bit different in pictures) and wanted to make out immediately. I was okay with this, as we had months of built-up tension. However, as the night passed, I began to notice that this man had the personality of a dead moth, in contrast to how he portrayed himself through texting, over the phone, and video chatting. I could understand being exhausted after driving 10 hours, but he lacked facial expression and willingness to converse with me, as two people normally would on a first date. The second day, we went to the movies; however, he kicked me out of his hotel room afterwards (rudely, at that) because he "needed to get something to eat." So much for the "fine dining" he promised me -- he didn't even offer to buy me a $5 Subway sandwich.

But.. it gets better! Despite the red flags, I returned to his hotel room later that night and he told me that while he loved my personality and was attracted to me, he was going through a rough patch with his ex girlfriend and had to return home early. So, he left that day and informed me, over the phone, that he needed some time to figure things out with her and that he wanted to pick things back up with me afterwards. Two weeks later, I found a brand new Match.com profile that belonged to him!

To this day, I am confused as to what made him leave so early. Was it the fact that I am younger than him or because it didn't seem like I was interested? Nonetheless, I was relieved because he turned out to be a total jerk!

This date from hell story was submitted by:  Hunter from USA

Dr. Gooddate's response:

Thanks for the story Hunter.

I noticed you said he was "seemingly wonderful".  They're all seemingly wonderful at the start, but unfortunately, they don't always end up working out.  No great loss for you.

I always recommend not dating someone who is so far from you.  He is 10 hours away, and that's a pretty long way to go - especially if things had progressed between you two.  Had things actually worked out, the distance would have only added unwanted pressure and stress to the relationship due to all the driving and travel needed. This usually makes the chances of things working out a bit more difficult in the long run.

The immediate makeout session isn't always bad, but somehow the physical contact so quickly is usually a sign of where his head is at.  Even with the "buildup" you guys had over time, I'd still like to see more reserved and gentleman-like behavior right out of the gate. Still, this isn't a dealbreaker so it is what it is.

The I'm going through a rough patch with my ex is such crap.  Had this been the case, he wouldn't have been dating yet and definitely would not be on any online dating sites...Not until he's ready and over his ex.  Look... it is cliche, I know ... but he just wasn't that into you.  It's as simple as that, and certainly nothing to worry about.  It was an excuse and nothing more.

Why did he leave so early?  Could be guilt.  It is possible that he was still involved with his girlfriend and she was in fact, NOT yet his ex.  Being that he had a brand new profile up online tells me that you just weren't what he was hoping for.  I've seen this many times.  Trying to wrap your head around it and trying to figure things out is like trying to grow flowers in a cave.  It's just a waste of time and energy, and won't get you anywhere.  After you met, his lack of enthusiasm was only a preamble of excuses and lies to follow.  Move on .... and find someone closer than 10 hours away!

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