Tired of Bad Dates? Take a look at this Date From Hell Story!


I met a guy online from my church. He seemed to already know me (knew my name and all) so I figured he must have been in a class I was in or something. Anyway, he was nice, clean cut, well dressed, good manners, etc. He'd talk to me on Facebook, always went out of his way to talk to me at church, and so on and so forth.

After this had been going on for several months (yeah, I know, should have stopped putting up with it long before) he sits down and starts telling me about this girl who caught his eye and how he went out with her and blah, blah, then gets his phone out and starts texting her. I was really hurt, of course, especially by the (what I saw anyway) implication that I was far from eye catching.

Anyway, I pretty much stopped talking to him but he continued to talk to me. I would be polite but that was it. After taking the girl out on a second date he stopped seeing her. I thought, after a few months when I'd gotten over it, well, maybe I was sending mixed signals (seeing as how he was still making it a point to talk to me and was being really nice and so forth), so I asked him out for coffee via Facebook. He said yes and we met up. He was very polite, paid for his own coffee, I paid for mine, he held the door open and pulled my chair out for me. Then he starts telling me all about the girl he dated a month or so earlier (different girl from the "caught his eye" girl) and how he's going to be bringing her to church. They started going out again a week later. They broke up since then. I THINK he's dating another girl but I haven't seen her in a while so who knows. Before these three girls he told me he hadn't been on a date in two years.

SO, being stupid, I put a happy birthday on his Facebook a week later when it was his bday. He went and said, "thank you" to every single person who wished him a happy birthday, and totally ignored mine as if it wasn't even there. I figured I have plenty of friends on Facebook who actually WANT me on there so I unfriended him and left it alone.

After that I only said hi in response and otherwise ignored him. A week or so ago he ran up to me after church and was asking me about things I'd told him months and months earlier. I answered him and then left. He's said hi a few times since then but I pretty much ignore him.

In the end I figure it's his loss and, from now on, I'll pay closer attention. I guess he was trying to keep me around as a back up plan? I really have no idea.

This date from hell story was submitted by:  Won't get fooled again, USA

Dr. Gooddate's response:

Thanks for the story WGFA. Perhaps you were a backup plan, but perhaps he never saw you as anything more than just a friend. Some people have a difficult time picking up on signals as to whether a person is flirting with them or if they're simply making conversation. In this case, my gut tells me that you misread him and he never had an interest in dating you as all he seemingly did was chat you up on occasion. While he was chatting with you on Facebook, did he give any indication that he was interested in more than just chatting?

I would have come right out and asked him what his intentions were simply because this went on for a long time and he continued to share his stories of romance with you. Don't get me wrong here ... I wouldn't have asked him about this right out of the gate. But after months of meaningless chit chat, if you had greater intentions, then rather than sit around wondering you could have just cut to the chase and simply asked. I believe he just wasn't interested in you.

Sheesh! He didn't even pay for your coffee? Well that tells me two things: 1) He's cheap and 2) He wasn't interested. It's really that simple. As for me, I'd pick up the coffee tab whether I was interested or not, simply because it's no big deal. But his failure to dole out a few bucks for a stinkin' cup of coffee screams "we're just friends". Sounds to me like you misinterpreted his intentions.

Why in the world would you fret over a man who openly shares stories of other women and other dates with you? This would be a major issue if you were dating...obviously. The fact that you weren't dating, he showed no interest, he made no passes, he gave no indications of wanting more AND he told you about other women constantly - well .... I don't see any mixed signals there. So there was really no need to keep interest in someone that displayed zero interest toward you.

So you won't get fooled again?  Seems that you were only fooling yourself the entire time.

Lastly, this doesn't even qualify as a date from hell because in reality, there was never even a date!  But hopefully our readers can learn from your experiences.

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