Tired of Bad Dates? Take a look at this Date From Hell Story!


I met a guy from a social site in August 2010. He messaged me and told me he is going to my country and he is looking for a serious girlfriend. He asked me if i am interested to meet him and see if there is any possibility that we can be more than friends. I told him i dont meet up with strangers but i would love to get to know him more. That time I was preparing to go overseas for work. He said he can meet me anywhere.

After chatting with him for 3 days, I noticed something about his attitude and I told him that he can just find another woman to mess with. The next day he messaged me asking me to give him a chance, so I did. It's strange that this guy is wanting a relationship with me but then he sends me pictures of naked women he used to chat with. I just go with the flow and our online relationship went on for 2 months.

Even when I was overseas we ended up chatting till morning. He told me he is single and 33; never been married and has no kids. This guy is from the west working in Asia as a Christian Missionary. I noticed he is alcoholic and smokes alot. I thought he was just going through some problems.We chat about his job and my job a lot, and suddenly i felt this attraction towards him. We talk about the bible. I fell for the thought that he is a christian and he claimed to be knowledgeable with the gospel. I have seen his videos and im sort of impressed with what he does. I thought he is open minded and we would listen to music together while chatting on skype till morning. Until one night he lied to me he won't open his cam on Skype because he is on a different laptop, and suddenly i saw in his Yahoo maessenger where it says view my cam.

I got disappointed and he even made excuses. I told him I know he is chatting with other girls thats why he wont cam with me. He admitted that yes he was but then he didnt aplogize. It seems he didn't care at all. I knew there is something wrong. But still i continue with him until he finally decided to meet me here in Korea. I didnt really expect that he would come. I didnt have any place for him but the motel in the building where i work. I told him not to expect a very nice hotel. So he saw my workplace and my bandmates, we went out for lunch and did some shopping. We made love and all that.

Before he got here he met a Korean guy from the airport who offered him a ride to my place. He decided to go out with this guy while i am at work. But then this guy left him in a girly bar. A girl from that bar called me to pick him up since his korean friend left him. So i picked him up and just pretended to be his girlfriend, he wasnt messing around with girls, but i was nervous and scared to see whats up. So i got there and saw him sitting at the bar talking to a Korean guy. On our way to the hotel he was explaining himself in the taxi, i get this feeling that theres something wrong with him.

I asked him about my job he said he is ok with it so i thought nothing really bothers him. I know that his situation is sort of disappointing since he is in a motel nothing much to do and i have a crazy work schedule it was hard for him to cope. He was suppose to stay for 4 days but i requested him to stay for another day and moved his flight so he did. We were both caught up in the moment everything went fast. Then he went back to his home. Before he left he said he is serious about us. So we continue our relationship online and he said he wants to go back here in a month or two. But after 4 days I found a video of him and his mission with his wife and kids. I felt like a pail of cold water was poured over me. I wasnt able to sleep and I confronted him he admitted he is married and he thought that I knew about it. I asked him several times and he said he is never married.  He said they are separated and his family is in the US.

So I gave him the benefit of doubt. As we continue I notice he is changing and slowly becoming irritable when we chat. Suddenly he wanted us to end our relationship since its all against the odds. He said he didnt like my job and he felt dirty when he was here. I felt so offended with his words. He is also having issues with trust. There was a time he chatted with me crying because he knows and feels he loves me but he cant to anyhting.I admitted to him how i feel too. But then he still cant trust me and i am slowly doubting him. I did my own research and I found out that he is living with his family.

I dont know the real situation but I cant believe we chat almost every night and his wife wont even wonder why he is up so late. He is slowly pushing me away, we tried to stay friends but its so hard for me to pretend that I am ok with it. He told me being friends still wont work out since we can meet other people and the friendship will just vanish. He said he is serious about having a relationship with a woman from my country. What kind of man is that? He is married and looking for a gf in another country?? I felt disappointed, confused, deceived from all of this. I know I have feelings for him and knowing that I am being fooled hurts me. He wanted things to end between us and here I am still holding on. Until one day I get fed up with his words and wrong accusations. I decided to confront him about him living with his family, he suddenly become defensive and he said if I keep bringing it up he will never talk to me anymore. We argued and he thought I am threatening him, but my intention then was to let him know how i feel. Unfortunately he didnt care about my feelings. He deleted me on his skype and told me he will delete all my pictures and let me go and I should do the same to him.

We just said goodbye. I deleted my skype on my pc and tried to move on. Its been 2 months now since the last time we communicate but still Im feeling the pain. It never! occured in my mind that he is married with kids. I felt guilty for letting things go far, going too fast and ignoring my intuition.I prayed so hard for me to get over this. Right now I feel that I can never trust any man. I feel so down and hopeless. I have met alot of a**holes in online dating sites but this burned me the most.

Never trust anyone you meet online, and always trust your instincts.I can't afford another heart ache.

This date from hell story was submitted by:  Mary from South Korea

Dr. Gooddate's response:

He sent you naked pictures of woman he used to chat with, and you still agreed to meet him?  STRIKE ONE!

He claimed, after you recognized his attitude and his chatting habits with other women that he works as a Christian Missionary and you believed him?  STRIKE TWO!

He's an alocholic and you kept chatting with him anyway?  STRIKE THREE, YOU'RE OUT!  But I'll humor you and continue reading anyway.

He told you he didn't have a cam and couldn't chat on his computer, but you saw on Yahoo that he had a cam that worked - and you KEPT chatting with him anyway?  - IS THERE SUCH A THING AS STRIKE 4?

It wasn't until the cab ride home that you realized there was something wrong with him???  -  YIKES!

You found out about his wife and kids and gave him the benefit of the doubt anyway?  -  SEEING A PATTERN HERE MARY?

You're STILL holding on?  - NOW THERE'S WHAT I CALL SELF ESTEEM!  (I'm being facetious)

After all that, it never occurred to you that he was married with kids?  Even though you already found this to be the truth?  - AM I READING THIS CORRECTLY?  AM I DRUNK?!?!?

Now after all that, you're telling the world to trust their instincts?  A bit hypocritical wouldn't you say?  You had one negative impression of him after another.  At every turn, there was another twist. 

Good advice though....trust your instincts.  Read your letter back a few times Mary and then take your own advice.

Sorry for being abrupt.  But people who set themselves up for disappointment, and don't listed to the voice in their heads, and don't heed the warnings that surface at every turn - and then have the audacity to tell the world not to trust anyone they meet online is rather pathetic.  I didn't even want to post this story, but even in its absolute absurdity, there are others as blind and naive in the world, so hopefully this will give others the ability to walk away from such a ridiculous, pathetic situation after one week instead of one year.

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