Tired of Bad Dates? Take a look at this Date From Hell Story!

SMALL MAN, SMALL HANDS. WHERE ARE ALL THE NICE, TALL MEN?

Last January, I made the resolution to get out there and snag myself a boyfriend. Since January is freezing, I decided this would best be done on my couch. I signed on to jdate with hope and was excited to see my options. 5’3, 5’5, and 5’nothing. Has no one heard of growth hormones? I am 5’2, so the height bar isn’t exactly high. Just as I was trying to convince myself that I could wear flat shoes or find a hole to stand in, an instant message ran across my screen. Being the savvy shopper that I am, I went to check and see what size he came in. 5’6. Ok, I guess he can be tried on. We chatted and after about 20 minutes decided to meet for a drink the following evening.

I got to the bar a little early. After I downed my first glass of red, I saw a tiny man enter. Hmm, his face looked familiar, but he was so short there’s no way it could be Leigh. Surely this had to be a child in a Leigh mask. Before I could ask if his mother knew he was in a bar, he said, “Hey Jes, its Leigh.” I deserve an Oscar for not letting my disappointment show. When he shook my hand, my appendage felt like one belonging to a giant. My tiny hand covered his and I couldn’t help but smile. Luckily, I held the fit of laughter in, though again, Oscar worthy. The evening was pleasant, but if his hands were that small… well you get the point. I usually end up dating liars, but I like to be surprised. If someone is so dumb that they lie about something I am going to indefinitely find out, what other secrets would I uncover? I was not about to wait and find out. I am not sure how he thought I was into him; I can only assume his ego was a little bigger than he was. When he tried to kiss me goodbye, I grabbed his tiny hand and shook it one last time. I said I’d call him, but I’m not sure why. I was bigger than him. End of story.

Finally, I escaped into the first cab I could find and called my mother to share the deets. When I arrived at my apartment, I made a shocking discovery. My wallet was gone. Now most people would think they were robbed, but I know better. My wallet goes “missing” about three times a year, always my fault. The most upsetting part about this was that I would have to call Mr. Tiny to ask if he happened to see it. He didn’t, but that boy was very excited to see me again when I went back to the bar to locate my belongings. I wonder if he knew this was not considered a second date. My vote goes to no.

I found my wallet in the exact location he tried to kiss me, I guess I wasn’t the only one to jump ship.

This date from hell story was submitted by:  Jessica from NY

Dr. Gooddate's response:

Jessica,

When I read through your story, my first thought was that Mr. Tiny Hands may have swiped your wallet.  But then again, his hands may just have been to small to fit around it, not to mention stash it in his Gap for Kids pants!

I've heard many tales of woe involving short men.  You're right... you don't exactly set the bar too high, so finding a man who isn't so vertically challenged would seem to be a less than daunting task.  My question is:  Why was he at the bar when you went back to search for your wallet?  Did you have him meet you there?  I'm guessing from your story that perhaps he was there by coincidence.  Let's hope so anyway. 

I'd ask if he tried to kiss you again, but I'm afraid you'd say yes.  Those lacking social skills like Mr. Tiny, just can't seem to pick up on signals, attitude and body language.  Anyway, onto bigger and better things for you ... pun intended!


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