Tired of Bad Dates? Take a look at this Date From Hell Story!


I've been doing the online dating thing for a while now. Okay, years. A long time. And it's been pretty lucrative so far, if you want to equate dating to a business transaction, well I've been turning quite a profit in the emotionally satisfying sector.

I've met a whack of guys online, met up with them, dated in the real world for a bit, then let it fizzle out. I don't consider these relationships failures, for each one has brought me closer to finding the right guy. And each one has confirmed for me that I am still desirable and still worthy of a man's love. They just haven't quite been worthy of mine.

Until this one guy. Ugh, this one guy.

We met on a dating site, as per usual, and he didn't seem extraordinary in any way. He was about the same amount of interesting as any other guy I've found myself pursuing. But he was cute.

We decided to meet up for dinner - no coffee date, this guy was confident we'd want to spend the whole evening together. This is usually taboo when it comes to online dating, but I accepted because I was feeling really confident myself having done the online dating thing for so long. So we met at a bistro.

The moment I saw this guy I felt my legs go to jelly. He stood up and greeted me at the table, a kiss on the cheek. He was smooth. I instantly felt I was a mess. I had taken a good three hours to get ready, and to achieve a perfectly natural, "oh I just threw this on last minute" look. This look always works wonders for me, but as soon as I saw him I felt it wasn't enough, I needed to look stunning.

So I excused myself and quickly stole away to the ladies room to check my face. I dug deep into my purse to find the lipstick I wore on Halloween as Betty Boop and started to apply. This will make me stand out in a crowd, I'll be like a classy Gwen Stefani, an Angelina Jolie. I finished the application and stood back. Why did my teeth look so yellow? It must my the lighting in here. But what is the lighting out there is the same? I hadn't bothered to notice before I booked it to the bathroom. Okay, red lipstick is a no-go. So I tried to wipe it off.

Ha. If you are a lipstick wearer you know that they never last long enough, despite many company's promises for "12-hour wear". But of course, if you ever try and wipe it off yourself, there's no way that color is going to come off without a fight. I now had slightly tinged lips that looked like I had put lipstick on 12 hours ago and then ate ribs. So I did the only thing that could make it look purposeful - I reapplied. I would just have to try and keep my teeth from showing. He can't think I have yellowed Lindsay Lohan teeth, or he'll never want to kiss me!

I strut back to the table, hoping he's checking out my ass, but overshoot as I sit down and kind of half-fall, half-stumble into my chair. He laughed at me. Any other time, I am pretty good-humored and can make fun of myself but all I could do was let out a slight giggle and adjust myself. I was so nervous. And I didn't want to open my mouth too wide.

He noticed the new lipstick. I tried to act sexy and compliment him on his excellent observational skills but bumped into my water glass instead. Seriously though, how pretentious can you be if you serve waters in wine glasses? Come on.

At this point I start to sweat, which isn't totally atypical for me, but only occurs when I am under social pressure - a job interview, a party where there are a lot of important people with which I need to making networking connections, etc. I can feel sweat stains emerge in my armpit area.

We start to chat about our days, as most of the technical talk - what we do, where we live and the sort, we'd already gotten out of the way online. His demeanor was so intimidating, for some reason I was desperate to impress him. Yes, he was good-looking, but not like hunky dreamy attractive, just average attractive. It was his personality, his air, his charm. I was putty and he was in control. It was like being on a date with George Clooney, only you couldn't even justify your nerves with his attractiveness because he was only just kind of good-looking. So maybe like a Conan O'Brien.

Then came time to order. It was a french restaurant, and I was fluent so I kept thinking I will totally impress him with my knowledge and accent. I'd even told him I was bilingual (a slight exaggeration since I've never taken the test, but I had to impress him with something!) Much to the amusement of both my date and our server, I pronounce the dish wrong. It was that awkward slow motion moment when you tell them what you'd like to eat and they repeat it back to you, correcting the pronunciation. My ears burned.

The sweat stains grew larger as he spoke about his accomplishments. This guy had run two marathons a year for the last five years, volunteered at Ronald McDonald house, and had even published a small collection of his own poetry. I was flabbergasted and felt so unworthy. And it was really hard not to smile at his jokes. I was sitting there, lips glued together in a goofy smile, arms pinned to my sides, trying to sip a glass of wine. I was dizzy. I had never felt this judged before in my entire life. It felt futile to try and impress him with anything and with each mistake I made, my confidence shrunk smaller and smaller.

By the end of the date my body was under such stress I'd started to shake and he asked if something was wrong. I came clean and told him how nervous I was. And I wish this was the part where I tell you he laughed it off, thinking it was cute, which in turn calmed my nerves and we enjoyed the rest of the date as my own charming self made its way out of the dark hole that his presence conjured. But it isn't. He had obviously gotten this a lot, and he was annoyed. He said he'd thought from our conversations online that I was the kind of woman who could keep up with him, not shy away, but shine beside him. He'd found himself looking online for this woman because his real life endeavors all fell short. And now I had too.

So in the end he was pretty full of myself. And I left, dripping with sweat, lipsticked smeared and more humiliated than I've ever been in my whole life (and I've done a lot of stupid things). I don't know how he did it. Some people just have that thing about them, you know? That thing that makes you feel small and insignificant and self-conscious about everything you say. They overpower you with charisma, but you feel desperate to please them. Its almost worse than a date that who eats off your plate and is rude to the server.

I stalked him on Facebook a few weeks later and it seems he found himself an average looking girl to compete with his shine - oh well, I'm sure they will take on the world together. I, however, have since vowed to work on my self-confidence, because I never want to feel that way again!

Want to hear more from Carey? She is currently a contributor at http://www.wwwdatingguide.com, giving dating tips and advice to those submerging themselves in the scary world of online dating!

This date from hell story was submitted by:  Carey M.

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