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LYING BOYFRIEND - A MYSPACE MISHAP

Lying Boyfriend!  Now there's a Surprise!

About a year and a half ago, maybe a bit longer, A guy (I'll call him P for 'Pinocchio') friend requested me on MySpace. I checked his profile and he seemed cool, so I added him. It turned out he only lived ten minutes from me, and he would send me graphics for comments and email me a lot. He seemed normal. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of almost four years about three months before, and I was heartbroken. Though it wasn't a surprise, I was still very upset about the relationship. So when P suggested meeting up for dinner and drinks a couple of months after we became friends, I excitedly agreed--I was ready to move on with my life and have some fun, and he seemed to be a cool guy. I had never met a guy online before, so I thought I'd try something new.

When I met with him he was ok looking, but he was very funny in a goofy way. He made me laugh, and he wined and dined me almost every night. He bought a tent so we could go camping, and filled my gas tank when it was empty without me asking. He always had the right thing to say. He had a good job, and said that he was an Air Force vet and had worked in investigations. The first thing that I found strange was that he said he was a vet, but I never saw any evidence--no pictures, no tags, not even paraphernalia. Not even a flag or Air Force sticker on his car. Every military person I've ever met is proud of what they do and has some kind of evidence that they proudly display or show to people. They always have some kind of proof of what they did, even if it's just a picture of them in their uniform. He had nothing but a couple of bizarre stories. So I kind of wondered if it was true. Then I began to notice that he would never answer his phone. It was always either on voice mail or would keep ringing. He would always text me back. Sometimes the texts were very basic; sometimes they were spaced out time wise from each other. A lot of times they would only have one word, like 'hey' and that would be it. (I later noticed that some of them were duplicates!) A couple of times I would ask him if he got my call and he would tell me he didn't get it, even though the phone rang. So I started to get very suspicious about him. The weirdness continued. He would get texts and seem confused about who was texting him. Once it was somebody cancelling plans (he had read it out loud in confusion), and then he suddenly covered it up ,saying," I was supposed to go out with my boy. This must be him." But wouldn't his boy have his number and name stored in the phone? Once, we had made plans to go to a local theme park, and when I suggested rescheduling because I had to work, he was very vague about why he couldn't." I might have to work," even though he had a set schedule and the same days off every week. I wanted to ask him, but I had no solid evidence. I began to see less and less of him. Once he cancelled a date because his friend's girlfriend had flipped her car. He kept saying he was going to play pool with the boys, even though he didn't go to bars and never otherwise talked about his friends. I don't even know their names, if they even existed. He even confused stories: one time, we argued about a story that he was convinced I'd told him when I knew for a fact I never did. I'd had a toothbrush that he'd let me keep there, and one day I came over to find it missing. "Where's my toothbrush?" I asked. I was puzzled. "Trust me, you don't want to use that," he blurted out. When I asked him what he meant and if somebody else had used it, he got very defensive. I still don't know what happened to it. He wouldn't tell me anything. Another time, I was close his job and decided to stop at a restaurant. I called to tell him where I was and to meet me there. He said ok, and he would be out in half an hour. I ordered a drink and waited. Almost an hour later, I called. When he didn't answer I texted him. "Where are you?" I asked. "Home" he said. I asked him why he was at home, and he said because he thought I was coming over...even though he had agreed to meet me where I was! Now I was really starting to get tired of this guy's crap. He finally showed up, and barely ate anything, which made me think he had already eaten. When the check came, he said," You're paying, right?" I slapped my money down on the bar. Sometime that same week, we were supposed to go out for Valentine's Day. The night before V-day, which I lovingly refer to as VD, I asked him if plans were still set. He asked me what I was talking about." We made plans...remember?" "I thought you hated Valentines day. My friend is coming over so we can woman bash." I asked him why the **** would he be spending V-day with a GUY and then he slipped on his lie, making me realize he was going to be with a girl.

So my suspicions were right. I confronted him, and forced him to admit what was going. He was very defensive and full of excuses, and I kept catching him in his discrepancies. He just couldn't tell the truth. All this through texting! I tried to call, but he wouldn't answer even though he continued to text. So even while we were having this argument, he was probably with another girl. A couple of weeks later, he texted me asking if I wanted to hang out. I stupidly said ok. He said he would make me dinner and we could watch a movie, which isn't my type of date at all and screams booty call. He'd also told me that he had a bottle of wine. But, I guess because I was a little lonely, I agreed. When I got there, he made instant potatoes (they were really runny and not even the really good kind) and some weird mushroom thing that I have yet to figure out what it was. The whole thing was drenched in butter. I'm surprised I didn't end up in the hospital with clogged arteries from all the cholesterol. When I asked him for some of the wine, he seemed to be trying to avoid having to get it. He was showing me some pictures when I saw one of a girl. "Who's that," I asked. "My wife," he said. WIFE?! And a baby! !!!!!!!!!!!!! SUPPOSEDLY he was separated from her, but everything else he had said had been a lie so I didn't see why I should believe that either. Then, not to get graphic, but I decided that I should at least get something out of this disaster. It lasted all of two minutes; he claimed the condom twisted and he needed another one." I have no more left," he said. Then he argued with me about who should go to the store and get more, and the store was across the parking lot. We could've walked there in two minutes. I think he just wanted me to pay for them, if he wasn't just making excuses for his lackluster performance. By then I'd had it. I went home, and never, ever called him again. I even deleted him from my friends list right away. He hasn't called me since either; he probably realized what a scumbag I figured out he was. And the sad part is, I know he's still online because one of his comments is still on my page and it always says he's online. Probably reeling in more lonely, unsuspecting girls. If only there was a way to warn them. I think he traumatized me, too, because I've sworn off internet dating for the rest of my life. Such a shame that one lying weirdo could ruin it it for everybody else.  - Anonymous, Somewhere Left of Center

This date from hell story was submitted by:  Anonymous - somewhere left of center

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