Internet Dating Lies & Lines
Spot them early, avoid them forever!
You don't have to go to a singles bar or nightclub to know a line
of crap when you hear it. The same holds true in the world of internet
dating and personal ads. Men who cheat and lie, as well as women who
do the same are scouring the internet dating sites, so caution is a
must!
A quality companion should know better than to feed you verbal and written
nonsense, but you might not always be able to decipher the true meaning
or intentions of the verbal garbage spewer. I have compiled a list of
common lines and lies and am continuing to gather more for your reading
and learning pleasure. Don't forget to let me know about some of the
doozies that you may have heard as well!
MALE (BEFORE MEETING YOU): "You are just so nice and so much fun to talk to. For me, I really don't care about looks. It's what's on the inside that counts."
Dr. Gooddate: Horsecrap! Men are visual. VERY VISUAL creatures. What's on the inside??? Sure it's important, but you could have a heart of gold and tonight's winning Lotto ticket inside you. If you don't satisfy him visually, don't expect to hear from him again. PERIOD. I elaborate on this below in the next male "line".
MALE: "Of course looks are important, but I look for so much more in a woman before looks."
Dr. Gooddate: Once again, crapola! I used "horsecrap" already so I had to come up with something else. Absolutely there is more to a woman than just physical beauty. But see the question above. For a man, visual first, everything else second. And keep in mind that "visually appealing" to one man is different than another. So you need not be a supermodel or even very pretty for that matter. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, so you just need to satisfy this one particular man's visual and physical desires first and foremost. Then the rest will follow suit. Women can actually find themselves gradually becoming more attracted to a man they were not originally attracted to due to various qualities such as intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, etc. While these qualities are very important to men as well, it won't matter if the physical attraction is not there for the man. Case in point: I have heard many women say "He wasn't really my type, but he was so nice, so I will go out with him again"; or "I really wasn't very attracted to him, but he is so funny and just a blast so I'd like to see him again and see where this goes". This is not uncommon. Women weigh these characteristics and qualities much more heavily than men. Men, on the other hand, will not weigh anything when they're not feeling the attraction to a woman. Therefore, you will never hear a man say, "I really wasn't attracted to her at all, but she was just so funny and nice that I want to date her again". Sorry ladies, it just doesn't work this way for men. The difference between men and woman can be summarized in these sample conversations:
A woman inquiring about her friend's date
Mary: So how was your date? Where did you go? Did you
have a nice time?
Jane: We had a very nice time. We met for drinks and
talked for hours. You know, I didn't find him to be very attractive,
but he is just so nice and very funny too. He made me laugh all
night long! I'm definitely going to see him again.
A man asking his buddy about a recent date
Mike: So dude, how did it go last night? Was she hot?
John: Hell no! Hey! Check out that chick over there!
Damn she's hot!
MALE or FEMALE: "I know things are moving quickly. I really like you, but this is not like me. I never move this fast."
Dr. Gooddate: What a crock! People are who they are. We all have friends that fall "in love" in a heartbeat with a person every time they meet someone new. At least they THINK they're in love. If someone is moving your new relationship forward at the speed of light, this is more than likely what they always do. Don't be impressed with yourself just yet Captain Speedy, because you are not the first person to whom he or she has said this.
MALE OR FEMALE: "I know we just met online, and I usually prefer to take time to know someone before I meet them. But I feel so comfortable with you that I want to meet you now!"
Dr. Gooddate: UGH! See above. Same sh*t, different day. Someone who has integrity and is morally set in their ways will live by their rules always. If an empowered, confident person consistently waits to know you before meeting a stranger, then he or she will wait for you too. Anyone else is just rushing things ahead and is more than likely in for a letdown. Nothing is wrong with meeting someone right away if you feel a true connection or chemistry. Anyone who feels the need to "advertise" that they are typically not like this, is false advertising.
FEMALE: "My ex-husband is such a jerk! I don't know how I ever married the man in the first place. But I am so over that now."
Dr. Gooddate: PUH-LEEEEASE! Give me a break! "So over it"? If you were, you wouldn't feel the need to talk about him to a complete stranger, nor would you have the need to ridicule or criticize your ex. Regardless of what transpired in the past and how you THINK you feel now, when you are "so over it", your desire to talk about it will be nonexistent, especially to someone you just met. This goes both ways. Guys do it too! If you have to listen to a stranger ramble on and on about his ex-wife, he probably still loves her, or is bitter and hates her! If this wasn't the case, there would be no need to talk about her. Either way, it's a losing proposition.
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