Internet Dating Glossary

Dating on the internet is obviously very different than meeting someone at a party, a social gathering, a nightclub or anywhere in person. Finding an online date requires a written introduction. As I always say, a first impression is a lasting one. So why doesn't everyone realize this? Your first email says it all folks. Make it count!

"The One Line Wonder"

The personals ad responder whose lack of tact is so obvious that he/she thinks he/she will win you over with an email of one sentence or very few words.

While both men and women are guilty of one-line-wonders when it comes to email, it's usually the guys who are guilty of this offense.  The one-line-wonder often shows his true lack of brains and communication skills by replying to ladies' ads with a dandy of a one-liner and an attached photo.  His email usually goes something like this: "Hey!  You look great.  I'm free tonight if you're interested".  Then he attaches his phone number as well. 

A couple things to point out here:  Give your phone number out in an opening introduction email, and you're not only an idiot, but you're acting a little too desperate.  Another bad idea with this approach is thinking that you're so "all that" so your picture is going to do all the talking for you.  Lastly, unless you're replying to a 19 year old girl, a real woman wants more.  She wants substance, thought, intelligence and an email that somewhat displays any semblance of a brain in your head.  Fail to show any of these qualities, and you'll fail to get a response.  Here's why... when a man is replying to an online personals ad, he is constantly facing the competition of many other men writing to the same woman.  Fall short of substance, or come in less articulately than any of your competitor's replies, and you can kiss your chances goodbye. 

This one-line walking disaster of a prospective date will then usually follow up the woman's no-reply with what I call a "nasty gram" showing his dismay in not receiving a reply, and also showing his immaturity quite well.  Guys!  Understand this now.  While you look at the photo before reading anything, a lady will often read first, then look later.  Don't get me wrong.  A woman might often look at the photo first, but if you're not exactly Prince Charming, a well-written email will still put you in the running.  Men on the other hand will delete the email immediately after looking at a photo if they do not like the photo.

Fear not gentleman!  The ladies are sometimes guilty of this as well.  Usually it's the younger or more immature girls who hit you with a one line response to your ad.  This indicates, as it does with a man's reply, that she's "busy" doing a lot of replying or just not capable of going beyond her looks - or at least what she thinks she looks like.  A quality woman will write.  She will convey.  She will share.  Perhaps you won't receive her life story, but a woman will give off what she likes to receive:  Thought, substance and a genuine reply that contains interesting details about you. 

I have tested this theory many times in the past.  I sent out many very well written emails addressing the woman's ad and any details she had in it.  My return rate was high, very high.  I am sure that those who did not return my reply just didn't like my photo, and that's OK.  However, the returns I got were always appreciative of the time I took to actually read the ad and compose a well-thought reply.  How many replies over all these years did I get to my one-liners when I tested this theory?  None.  Zero.  Are there exceptions to this?  Of course.  There are plenty of older shallow women out there too, but for the most part, this goes against the grain of a woman's makeup. 

TIP: Read her ad. Pay attention to what you're reading.  Reply ONLY if you meet her criteria.  If you choose to reply, send her something that actually may interest her and spark her attention.  And then if she chooses not to reply to you... move on!  It isn't that difficult guys!

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