Tired of Bad Dates? Take a look at this Date From Hell Story!


I met this guy online who said he was Army Special Forces and was on leave and staying with his mom until his leave was up. We talked for maybe 2 weeks. He talked the talk and seemed to be pretty honest. So I accepted the offer to go visit him 440 miles away. I went down there on a Thursday night. When I arrived I noticed he was every bit as handsome as he was in his photos. We went to a little beach bar and had a couple of beers. Then we went back to his mom's house. He insisted that I stay with him and his mom. I didn't have to spend the money on a hotel. By then I felt comfortable enough to stay.

Well the attraction between us was massive and we ended up in bed together on the first night. It was amazing! So the next day I got out of the shower and caught him going thru my cell!!! He said he was just curious. I was angry about it, but forgave him. I was starting to feel like he was the jealous and possessive type. We went to the beach and out that night. We had a really wonderful time. Then Saturday night we went to a club. He kept going to buy drinks and at one point brought me a Jager Bomb. I couldn't finish it because I was getting sick and wasted.

Then all of the sudden he threw my keys at me and told me to get lost. I was so confused. He said that I hit him 3 times!! I don't even remember doing that. It was like I lost time or something. Because I didn't know what he was talking about. So I picked up my keys and realized I didn't have a clue where the hell I was and I was really intoxicated. After begging and pleading with him not to leave me like this he agreed to get in the car and help me get back to his place to get my things. I got my things and! left. I got a hotel room for the rest of the night. I got up and drove home still really confused.

He ended up calling me back and apologizing for what happened and said he wanted to see me again. I said okay but never went back. He started telling me that he loved me and missed me, which was another warning sign. So one day at work I decided to Google his name to see what would come up. I found a mugg shot!!! He had just been released from jail!! He had been serving time for Assault with a gun that he had pulled on his girlfriend. I even found the newspaper article about the incident. He had a lot more charges than that.

I did find out that he wasn't lying about being in the Army. I have reason to believe that his experiences in the Army may have caused his issues. So did I learn my lesson? Yes I'm not dating online again. But I still think about him and it breaks my heart that things turned out the way they did.

This date from hell story was submitted by:  KM in Florida

Dr. Gooddate's response:

Mistake #1:  440 miles?  For a first date?  Strike one!  Long distance relationships are difficult enough even after being involved with a person for a long period of time.  Meeting someone for the first time who is that far away, and being the one to do the traveling is a big no-no.  Remember that you don't even know the person yet.  The only time I would advise this is if he was coming to see you.  Where's the chivalry and the sincerity? A woman should not be the one doing the traveling of such a distance for the first meeting.  Additionally, if he travels to see you, he should be staynig in a hotel, paid for by HIM.

Mistake #2:  Staying with him and his mom?  Are you kidding me?!?!?!  Enough said on this one not to mention what the hell is mother was thinking.

Mistake #3:  Hopping in the sack with this guy at the first meeting was not a good idea.  However, this was most likely his only true goal for the date, and it looks like he got what he wanted.  If he's interested in you for real reasons of romance and love, he won't be looking to jump into bed on date #1, and you should not be willing to do so either.

Mistake #4:  Googling his name is a great idea.... but do it BEFORE you meet him.  This is similar to looking up a person's bio after he robs your house, to find out he's got a rap sheet a mile long.

Mistake #5:  Getting intoxicated on date #1.  A truly bad idea.  Again...you don't know this man from a hole in the wall.  You don't know what he's capable of doing - and this includes slipping something in your drink. It is important to show control and restraint when spending time with a stranger.

He LOVES you? After one date and a disastrous one at that! A little psycho, a tad desperate and a lot immature if you ask me. This should be enough to make you head for the hills! Do you really still think about him? If so, I have some fantastic advice for you: STOP!

Well KM, live and learn.  We all have to experience certain things in life to put ourselves in a place to make more prudent decisions going forward.  It sounds like you've done that.  In addition, your horrible experience can be used to help our readers as well as friends of your own who intend to travel hundreds of miles to meet a stranger.  Please don't be so down that you never date on the internet again.  You shouldn't close the door to the possibilities of a good date, but you can improve your chances by making better decisions.  And always remember, you aren't alone!  We've heard many stories similar to yours and some of them ended up much worse.  It's good to know you are safe and in a position to pursue better dating prospects!  Thanks for sharing your story!

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